Study 18

Study 18

Shall I compare thee to a study week?
Thou art more lazy and more tempting:
Rough winds do flip the darling books for me,
And study week had all too short a date:
Sometime too sleepy the eye of mine shines,
And often is my tired complexion dimm'd;
And every hair from hair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course unknown;
But why eternal study shall not fade?
Nor lose possession of that hair i own?
Nor shall Death brag me wander'st in his shade?
When in eternal study no time shall be wasted:
So long as i can breathe or eyes can read,
So long study this and this gives life to me.

- William Fei Speare

Princess Melt

Once upon a time there lived a king.
The king had a beautiful daughter, the PRINCESS.

But there was a problem. Everything the princess touched would melt.



No matter what;

metal,

wood,

stone,

Anything she touched would melt.



Because of this, men were afraid of her. Nobody would dare marry her.

The king despaired. What could he do to help his daughter?



He consulted his wizards and magicians. One wizard told the king, 'If your daughter touches one thing that does not melt in her hands, she will be cured.'



The king was overjoyed and came up with a plan next day, he held a competition. Any man that could bring his daughter an object that would not melt would marry her and inherit the king's wealth.



THREE YOUNG PRINCES TOOK UP THE CHALLENGE.

The first brought a sword of the finest steel.









But alas, when the princess touched it, it melted, and t he prince went away sadly .







The second prince brought diamonds.

He thought diamonds are the hardest substance in the world and would not melt. But alas, once the princess touched them, they melted. He too was sent away disappointed.



:-[



The third prince approached. He told the princess,

'Put your hand in my pocket and feel what is in there.'

The princess did as she was told, though she turned red.

She felt something hard. She held it in her hand.

And it did not melt!!!



The king was overjoyed. Everybody in the kingdom was overjoyed. And the third prince married the princess and they both lived happily ever after.

Question: What was in the prince's pants?

(Scroll down for the answer)



V





V







M&M's of course. They melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

Maxis the best coverage

This is a true story of a young college girl who past away last month,at Shah Alam. Her name is Priya. She was hit by a lorry. I don't want to mention the name of the college. She has a boy friend named Shankar. He stays in Johor Bahru. Both of them are true lovers. They always hang on thephone.U can never see her without herhandphone. She spends 3/4 of the day talking with Shankar. Both of them used maxis.

Priya's family knows about their relationship. Shankar is very close with Priya's family. Before she passed away she always told her frens:"If I pass away please burn me with my handphone" She also said the same thing to her parents. After her death, people can't carryher coffin. I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still cant. Everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called their neighbour, a "bomoh" from thailand (pakDarin), who is a fren of her father. He took a sit and started speaking to himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". Then her frens told Darin bout her intentions to burn her with her phone. He then opened thecoffin and places her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked (can u feel the fear. i'm shaking at this moment).

Priya's parents didn't inform Shankarthat Priya had passed away (pityShankar). After 2 weeks Shankar called Priya's mom. Shankar said: "Atte, I'm coming home 2day. Cook something nice for me. Don't tell Priya that i'm coming home 2day. I wanna surprise her."Her mother replied....."U come homefirst, I wanna tell u something very
important." After he came to Shah Alam, they told him the truth about Priya. Shankarthought that they were playing a fool. Then they show him the original deathcertificate to him. He said:"It's not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me."Shankar was shaking.

Suddenly, Shakar's phone rang."See this is from Priya. See this..."He showed the phone to priya's family. All of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversationloud and clear. No cross lines, nohumming. It is the actual voice ofPriya & there is no way others could use her sim card since it is nailed inside the coffin.

They were so shocked and asked for pakDarin's help again. pak Darinbrought his master (Tok Chen) to solvethis matter. He & Darin worked for 5 hours. Than they discovered one thing... Tok Chen was sweating. His face wasred."I just cant believe this. It's quite amazing" he said."I didn't think that this could actually happen. Unbelievable!"Oh My God! Maxis has the best line,ever.We can still keep in touch even whenwe're dead!! Talk about coverage!!!Best coverage ever!!! Where can i get the SIMpack?

Moral of the story - Maxis is the best lar.

ETeMS repealed? Let Leonidas tell you why.

Recently, it was rumoured that ETeMS (English for Teaching Mathematics and Science) in Malaysia will be repealed in 2009.

Regardless of whether it is true or else, many people want ETeMS to be repealed.



Why is that so?



Because ...















So, for those who support ETeMS, the consequence might be ...

When Dr. M was a Prime Minister

When Dr. Mahathir was Prime Minister of Malaysia

One lousy day in the middle of the economic crisis,
PM Mahathir was feeling
extremely frustrated and wondering how a neighboring
country can be doing
better than Malaysia. One of his aides said, I heard
that the leaders consult
Feng Shui masters to ensure prosperity for the
country. Dr Mahathir thought
if that was the case, Malaysia Bomoh also can, and
went to seek the top
bomoh's advice in the country.

After reviewing the case, the bomoh told Dr M that
there were 2 things that
he must do :

Bomoh : Step 1. You must blame the crisis on SOROS
for everything.
Dr M : But Why ?

Bomoh: Because SOROS stands for 'Speculate On
Ringgit Or Stocks'.
You must blame him, and look at ways to control the
ringgit and stock market.

Bomoh : Step 2 - You must get rid of ANWAR.
Dr M: What! why him ?

Bomoh: Because ANWAR stands for 'A Nation Without
Any Ringgit'.
Dr M: But how ? This is most difficult to do, he is
popular with the people.

Bomoh : Aiyoh, you bodoh lah! Look at your name,
MAHATHIR.
Make Anwar Homosexual And Then Highlight It
Repeatedly.

The Story of Ah Beng

Ah Beng - NEW STUFF
********************

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
"My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610"

====================================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

==========================================
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

===========================================
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

=========================================
Ah Beng : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.

===========================================
Ah Beng complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house."
Police: "How the thief did not take TV?"
Ah Beng : "I was watching TV news..."

=========================================
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for complement."

=============================================
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.

===============================================
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.

==================================================
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

===================================================
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

===================================================
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is "u will go to jail"

=====================================================
Ah Beng told his servant: "Go and water the plants!"
Servant: "It's already raining."
Ah Beng : "So what? Take an umbrella and go."

=====================================================
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not
in the morning Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

******************************

PCK (Phua Chu Kang) teach sex

Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to Chu Beng's son, Aloysius
.........
Aloy : Why is making love so enjoyable ?

PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjolable becaws, same like when you dig your
nose with your finger mah !

Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex more than men ?

PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you dig dig your nose, your nose
feel better than your finger, right ?

Aloy : Why do women hate it when they get raped ?

PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along the load, den someone come over
and dig your nose, you like or not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah !

Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have sex when she is having her
menses?

PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding, you still go and dig meh?? Siow
ah ! Use your blain, use your blainnn ..........

Aloy : Why is it most men don't like wearing condoms when they are
making love ?

PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose ah, you like to dig with a
glove on your finger or not ? Not the same shiok feeling mah.
Corlight or not?

Aloy : Why is making love carried out in private ?

PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use your blainnnnn .............................. you
go and dig your nose in flont of your whole class izit ?? Stupid
lah!!

Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you are very good.

PCK : Aiyah ....... ,' Best in Singapore , JB, some say Batam, and now, the whole world!'
also ah!!!

男人女人（好人版）

本文讲述的是怨女和痴汉的合唱版本，关于许茹芸和阿穆隆合唱的同名歌曲，详见“男人女人歌词”。

 

在唱这首歌以前，请留意以下的词汇解释：

1. 好人：一種男性生理病狀，當時常求偶把妹不成或是沒有異性緣連路邊野狗家貓飛鳥走獸理也不想理的男性，在不願意面對身邊沒有異性的現實，在夜深人靜都得壓抑自己的獸性面對孤獨，家裡又有堆積如山的好人卡，更不願意面對自己除了修電腦修水電做木工做跑腿做奴隸或ACG之外什麼都不會的情況下，就開始陷入安慰自己「是個好人」的終極腦殘創傷病狀，修了大半輩子的電腦也還是未能得逞，因此也開始覺得自己是好人。 好人的基本特徵是擁有一張或一張以上的好人卡。而擁有過多好人卡就叫頂天好人王。
2. 坏人：好人的相對，意指對異性再壞都能被她們愛得死心塌地的奇怪人種。被好人和清醒人士認為是不公平兼不可思議的現象。
3. 痴汉：原意為在電車上進行性騷擾的男性，這裡延伸為“痴痴地追著、卻被女人嫌棄的男人”。

 

准备好了？音乐上……

 

男人女人

曲：吴克群

改编词：粥董

演唱：怨女 + 痴汉

 

推推推推了几回

这痴汉令人反胃

怎有人脸皮厚得打死不退

我仍然在等待王子能出现

伤伤伤伤了几回

不断的为爱憔悴

爱情里好人总比坏人狼狈

我却还是学不会如何追谁

 

男人男人

想派你一张好人

多希望你别天真

让我不必再头疼

女人女人

我不想收到好人

我答应用我一生

来换你的快乐一生

 

爱爱爱爱了几回

就他最令人反胃

付出的休想从我身上收回

我在等待一个像样的出现

伤伤伤伤了几回

我连番为爱憔悴

爱情里好人总比坏人难为

我却还是学不会如何爱谁

 

男人男人

多希望你是好人

多希望你别天真

让我能继续再等

女人女人

我不想做个好人

我答应用我一生

来换你的快乐一生

 

男人男人

多希望你是好人

多希望你对我真

让我不必再痴等

女人女人

我想做你的好人

不会再让我心疼 （不会再让你心疼）

一等再等

你就是我等的那个人

 

男人男人

女人女人

多么希望你是对的人 （多么希望我是你的人）

[转载]看电影时发现的事情

看完《色戒》发现，女人靠不住
看完《断背山》发现，同性恋靠不住
看完《投名状》发现，兄弟靠不住
看完《集结号》发现，组织靠不住
看完《新警察故事》发现，儿子靠不住
看完《满城尽带黄金甲》发现，老婆老公靠不住
看完《红楼梦》发现，祖母和嫂子也靠不住

看完《西游记》发现，师傅靠不住
看完《霍元甲》发现，徒弟靠不住
看完《无间道》发现，警察靠不住
看完《史密斯夫妇》发现，公司也是靠不住的

看完《无极》发现，馒头靠不住
看完《青蛇》发现，动物靠不住
看完《越狱》发现，牢房靠不住
看完《午夜凶铃》发现，电话靠不住，电视更靠不住
看完《长江7号》发现，地球人靠不住
看完《变形金刚》发现，外星人也靠不住

看完《骇客任务》发现，一切现实都靠不住




结论：只有“我”靠得住



简称：我靠！！

Why Girls/Boys Should Date Engineers?

TOP 10 reasons why girls should date Engineers

10. The world does revolve around us...we choose the coordinate system.
9. No "couple" enjoy a better "moment".
8. We know how to handle stress and strain in a relationship.
7. We have significant figures.
6. We understand the motion of rigid bodies.
5. Projectile motion: Do we need to saymore?
4. Engineers do it to specification.
3. According to Newton, if two bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite.
2. We know it's not the length of the vector that counts, but how you apply the force.
1. WE KNOW THE RIGHT HAND RULE!