Saddest thing that can happen in UTP

In final year, one of the saddest things is :

We want to go class, but we got no classes to go anymore. :P

Business-minded Engineering Students

A: so late baru online ?

haha

B: got class ma just now

y u din go?

i din sign for u

A: sien lo didnt sign for me

next time sign la

B: cannt sign la.. only few ppl in the class.. the lec suspect later

A: u dunt sign for urself la

u sign for me

hahaha

B: cannt lo.. i so famous.. lec remember my name one

A: sien lo...

later lecturer dulan me lo

i so sked lo

B: yala.. u b careful la.. test 1 sure cannt score dy

A: alamak die lo die lo (holding head covering face)

sked lo liddat

next class must go d

go early

kenot go play d lo

must study d

later kenot score

B: aiyo.. die lo.. all our weekend plan next sem x jadi dy

A: kenot go d ler...must study la..miss one class d

later kenot score test

B: die la u.. u can only miss 10% of the class.. now un edy missed 8%

A: yala

kenot miss any class d

later kena barred

haha

so foundation la liddis

B: u go clinic tipu mc la

A: yeah..must walk to clinic

and beg mor mc d

B: no need.. u tipu one.. then photostat a few to keep

every week gv one to the lec

A: can sell to frens oso

one for rm 1 oso can

B: good idea.. photostat one MC only 10 cents the most.. sell RM1.. wa.. profit 900%?

i bcome ur business partner la

A: can la...

when a lot ppl need mc we increase price

1.50

:))

B: i think we can open clinic terus lo

open one bside v5 shop

A: hahaha

no doctor, no medicine

just mc

B: got.. we are the doctors la

we can sign for the mc one

since we r doctors.. we can increase the price for mc

A: hehe...can oso...

B: RM10 per mc also no prob

A: depending on days...got package oso..if wanna take longer leave have to pay more

we will provide fake photos to be uploaded on fb to show to ppl that u are sick

B: yea.. n if want mc for final hv to pay triple

we must hv operation room also

take fake photo that we r operating the person

A: yeah..

can even fake death photo and death cert for those who want to take permanent leave and lari from sponsors

but of course

much higher price

quality is guaranteed

B: dead photo need to charge at least RM1000 n above..

coz lari from sponsor means lari RM100,000

so shud charge more

A: yeah...

upon request we will oso organize fake funeral and burial for the customer

if pay more we can even get a substitute corpse

for the custormer

but of course

pay more

B: wa.. tht one must charge very high dy.. coz can tipu insurance claim also

A: hmm..yeah..must write a contract to share the insurance claim

B: got the money edy we can expand our business to other uni

A: yeah..good good..applying business strategy..we can go to larger uni with more student so that can get cheap labour

and the location is better

lower the cost of operations

huhu..we can be the CEO lo

hoho

easy life d

hohoho...im so happy thinking of the money we can make

B: oh ya.. we can open medical school also then

train students to be professional MC suppliers

A: hmm..long term plan

that a good idea

B: First rule of the class: Cannot miss class by giving MC

hahahahhaha

A: hahaha...

most important rule...

if student is caught using real mc..he or she will be barred

hahaha

only fake mc is valid

B: death cert also must b fake one.. really die edy also must find a fake one

A: yeah

our fake products are of high quality

better than

real products

we strive for fake excellence

B: real product is not recognized by us

A: real products are fake and fake products are real

B: so does the utp clinic.. it shud b demolished

it neither real nor fake

they shouldnt exist at all

A: yeah..the clinic is irrelevant

sumore with our clinic there

its totally no need to be there

they should close down the clinic

B: they shud fully utilize the place.. change it to something like snooker room

A: yeah...something more useful and important

B: we acquire the utp clinic la since we can earn so much

A: haha

telan the clinic

then rebrand the clinic into one of us

B: ya.. then ask the 'nothin 2 eat' cafe beside to pay protection fee to us

earn somemore

A: haha...

venture into ah long business after that

so that ppl will borrow money from us

then when they wanna lari they will find us oso

then we make them pay for the fake service

then after that we tangkap them

B: if they got no money to pay us.. ask them to pay for fake death cert then claim insurance to pay us

A: hohoho..we can get pulangan berganda liddat

then we buy utp

make it our uni

train

the students

B: ya.. eliminate all the existing engineering courses

change the courses to suit our business needs

open courses about medic, insurance, business and law


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To ensure the personal safety of the individuals involved in the conversation above, the identities of A and B would not be disclosed.