Thermography Course

Guys,

I officially ended my level 1 thermography and infrared camera application course. There are total 5 levels in this course:

Level 1: Basic shape tracing
Able to differentiate if your wife's a guy before marriage, right in the sack.

Level 2: Heat signature differentiation
Able to detect the number of people in a remote 'earthquake'. (happening in a car, late night, tepi jalan...)

Level 3: Medium wavelength thermal monitoring
Able to conduct peeping-tom role from another building.

Level 4: Advanced coloured radiation detection
Able to determine the number of red coloured 'hanging bridges' in an operating washing machine.

Level 5: Enhanced 3D+HD art of thermography
Able to trace left behind heat and replay past few minutes' event thus settle the argument on whether Lee An Hwa had rape Moo Sai Fu or not.

Useful ley this course? Go apply la...

(reading the whole thing now justifies why I started this post with ''Guys''....)

Body and Platform

Sometimes I do ponder on the similarity between our bodies and offshore platform:

Generator - Brain (generating impulse which is low concentrated electricity)

Pedestal crane - Arm

Compressor - Stomach

Gaslift Gas - Gastric Gas

Piping - Arteries

Crude Oil Transfer Pump - Heart

Well Head - Mouth

Well - Throat

and best of all.....

Vent to Flare - Butt to Fart

FEI-nion news - As it happened: YiuTP Curfew Riot Day 3

Report

Reporters: Casanova Kian, Situp Tan Zi, Window Lee, October Tan, November Chin, December Chong

1. 
   

   0100: The FEI-nion's Window Lee at YiuTP main gate says many are being here for the riot. The reason for this is the management feels they have additional powers to show to the students to saja implement curfew after 1am. We believe this is the first time that students are being so punctual for any event held in the YiuTP. There has been many positive messages from the students such as "*tut* you, we're *tut* doing what we want and you can *tut* my *tut* you *tut* little *tut* *tut* " and "here comes the real 2012".

   
   

   0114: The riot has just getting hot here as more and more students are joining. They even have two special corners fighting for the rights to wear hot pants, and they call themselves "The Ultimate Land Crocs" and "The Sotongz".

   
   

   0121: More and more groups are joining the riots. "The Far Socks Movement". "The Anti-Melvin Movement", "We All Love Mao Mao" and "Who The Hell is December Chong?" are also there.

   
   

   0230: The YiuTP Auxiliary Police released about three hundred boxes of tear gases, in the form of assignment papers and failed exam slip, sending all the students running away. However, there are a bunch of high achievers still remained, refusing to bulk away. The YiuTP Auxiliary Police had to resolve to releasing pictures of their mad parents.

   
   

   0640: Greater Iskandester Police release a first batch of 17 images and names of suspects who led the riot, namely Ho Pang Ko, Ma Kus Chan, Tan Wen Tat and Biu Tee Suan.

   
   

   0800: Ministry of Pets and Pests (MPP) statement: "We have enough prison rooms in wee-six for those that are sentenced to custody. There is substantial capacity in the prison system."

   
   

   1348: The Federation of Extreme Idiocy has refused to admit on sending supporters to the riot. President FEI says "We would not done so. It should've been a good business to rent supporters to such happening event but no, we are not going to admit our involvement in this riot until somebody found the evidence of us doing so. But I stand firm on refusing to admit to this accusation as all evidence was burnt."

2 Meanings

Teacher says, there are two meanings to the below sentence:

"Turn on that f*cking machine"


*No prizes for those who can get this lame joke.

Za....

jeng jeng jeng....