Hereby I announce the movie of the year to win the Golden Balak Award (金柴奖).
Nominees are :
1. The Curse of the Golden Balak Armour (废金甲)
Review : A film where a sot sot king with 3 sons; scumbag, dumbass and dickhead. Scumbag is a scumbag and so is he. Dumbass is the son with an ass so dumb that it always fart when the king talks. Third son is a dickhead without one of those on his head. He has an affair with his own mother with ba gua liap (showing half, not showing half). The ending was ketchup sauses all over the chrysantimum flower, like chocolate over the wheat field in Cococrunch. Seems like got new product : Chrychup, tomato flavoured chrysantimum tea in packs!
Starring : Melvin Chou
Director : Jay Tan
2. Kungfu Balak Dunk (功夫灌废柴篮)
Review : A-born-to-be-basketballer-star teenager or he thought so, went to kungfu school and being kick out because of he think its time for him to try other things like basketball and his headmaster thinks his(jay) kungfu is better than his(headmaster). A great story about a guy who can slam the dunk(with his hands) and slam the board (with his brilliant head) tries to eat ice cream and then goreng nasi with a cute sister to the drunken team captian who only drinks Tiger Beer. A team of gangsters tried to crush his bones but cannot, because he's the hero and hero always wins. It ends with a basketballer who's suppose to slam dunk, goes to turn back time and save the good guys bla bla bla...
Starring : Jay Zi Hern
Director : Tan Jie Lun
3. The Useless Secret that Cannot be Said (不能说的废的秘密)
Review : A 36 year old guy pretending to be 16 year old musician went into a music school where he met a girl from the past. Trying to tackle the girl, he went for a piano rap battle ; whoever can rap the fastest with piano wins. And so he won single handed, I mean it with one hand of five fingers. When asking why he likes to play piano with one hand, he said it looks more cool and the other hand can scratch his back. Like every climax, the hero must bleed when showing his best. The ending is, he was able to go to 20 years ago, and so he can be officially 18 years old.
Starring : Jay Chou Jie Hern
Director : Melvin Tan Zi Lun
And the winner is :
Jeng Jeng Jeng…
Jeng Jeng Jeng...
Due to insufficient funding from FEI, no prizes are given and the Award has to be postpone to next sem. Thank you. Jangan baling telur busuk ya…
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