废盟子公司正式营业 New Subsidiary of F.E.I. Opened

废盟子公司正式营业
废沦海：期盼带来可观收入

（路边社19日讯）为了更长足的发展，废柴大联盟成立子公司，经营零售服饰业务，进而维持党的固定收入。

废党高层决议不效仿友党靠他人捐款过活的举动，并决定在吉隆坡阳光广场（Suria KLCC）开设“高级”服饰店“香蕉共和”，通过服饰零售维持废党运作，进而加强和鸭党抗衡的能力。

“香蕉共和”服饰店于今日下午五时正式开张，并请到废沦海和粥姓董事长主持开幕。身为党主席的废沦海在开幕辞中表示，此服饰店将由对潮流完全没有概念的高层废·死过了（Fei Scholar）进行服装采购，从而通过不参考时下男女究竟穿什么的方针，创造新的时尚。死过了将亲自前往各种不同的地区进行采购，为大家带来最新鲜、最没有人穿过的服饰。目前计划的采购行程包括亚马逊食人族区、百慕达三角区、亚特兰提斯和北极圈。

在记者会上，废沦海指出，为了确保市场竞争力，“香蕉共和”也将在物流方面着手，进一步降低服饰成本。目前的规划是和呀航合作，通过将货物从高空抛掷下来的方法，节省机场税和入口税。针对此举是否会增加因伤及地面人士而遭到索赔、以及聘用地面接货人员等额外开销时，废沦海表示一切要等到党财政经过七七四十九天的计算后才能下定论。

另外，“香蕉共和”也将积极拉拢FakeRewards公司将之纳入红利积分的合作伙伴。如果顾客要求在消费时得到更多分数，“香蕉共和”不排除将所有服饰的价格上调超过1000%的可能。

党主席废沦海为“香蕉共和”主持开幕

YAXB Fahrenheit as the Officiator in Banana*Republic grand opening

NEW SUBSIDIARY OF FEI OPENED
FAHRENHEIT: MORE $$$ TO COME

BERSAMA, 19 MARCH. For further development, Federation of Extreme Idiocy (F.E.I.) has established a boutique as new subsidiary to obtain constant income.

The highest committees of F.E.I. had decided not to follow Democratic UnderGround's (D.U.G. aka Duck Party) policy of depending on other's money for fund raising. Consequently, a new 'classy' boutique named "Banana*Republic" has been opened in Suria KLCC. Profit earned from this subsidiary is expected to increase the competitiveness of F.E.I. against D.U.G.

The grand opening of Banana*Republic was officiated by Yang Amat X Berguna Fahrenheit F. Fei and Porridge CEO at 5 o' clock in the evening. In the opening speech, Fahrenheit mentioned that Fei Scholar, who has no idea of what fashion is, will be the purchase officer of the boutique. New fashion is expected by not referring to what people nowadays wear. Scholar will go to different areas for branding purchasing in order to import the freshest and most 'nobody-worn-before' types of clothes. Currently, the scheduled destination of purchase include cannibal tribe in Amazon, Bermuda Triangle, Atlantis, and Arctic Circle.

In the press conference, YAXB Fahrenheit revealed that Banana*Republic will decrease the cost of clothes from the aspect of logistics in order to be competitive in the market. For now, it planned to work with Air Asia by dumping the goods from sky. When being asked about the additional cost for this method like compensation of those hit by goods and cost of hiring extra 'catchers', YAXB Fahrenheit said that it can only be concluded after the Treasurer of F.E.I. sum up the cost after a 49-day calculation.

On the other hand, Banana*Republic will also seek partnership with FakeRewards in terms of providing bonus points. If customers demand on getting more points, Banana*Republic might consider of increasing the price of clothes to 1000% and above.


* BERSAMA: Berita Samaran Malaysia